Id rather be a hammer than a nail

Id rather be a hammer than a nail is an idiom which is referring to wanting to be the one doing the beating or abusing (literally or figuratively) than the one taking the beating. It is another way of saying it is better being the one to inflict the damage, whether physically or emotionally, than it is to be the victim who is accepting it. By being the one who is in control, you stop being the victim.